Buying my Freedom

I guess I am channeling my "slave mentality" - seeing as it is "Black History Month" - I am not a black woman in this lifetime - but I believe I have been all skin colors in other incarnations.

Winning Lotto has always been one of my long term goals - I know some people want to save for retirement - but me - no - I want to be provided for from the Universe - I know - I know -  personal responsibility issues - 12th house sun and Venus - with Cappy Saturn and Aqua Jupiter in my 10th I am a walking contradiction.  No wonder why I chose such outlandish goals - but to me these goals seem perfectly logical - Reading an astrology book over the weekend - I read Aqua/Pluto 5th house people are kind of kooky - they can be known to break into song at any given moment - "So what's so wrong with that?"  hahahahahahahaha

I am actually not unhappy with my life - there is just a little wanderlust in my soul - I actually love spending the days with my grandchildren! I would like to fix up my house (I would have to hire people), travel and take better care of myself - so I guess taking better care of myself inside and outside would be the focus of me wanting to win lotto (or something better)

 - and so it is -

 because I said so...

"The Time Returns"

"The Mary Squires Family Trust Account" - the reason I bring this up is I have picked lotto numbers and written them on cards - in red sharpie- the girls and I and Coco - did a circles chanting the numbers last Friday - so as soon as Bay and Coco walked in this morning - Mar went and got the cards out of my pocket - my little "Lion" is so in tune with the full moon xoxox

Now of course the only hitch in the plan is my hubby - he wants half of my lotto winnings - ha ha - so .....  The trust acct could be 1/2 of my winnings - so let's make it a big one - cause he can have his portion (7%) from the trust and me or 1/2 the winnings and go off by himself somewhere.

What would you chose - would you be greedy? 

 Or would you rather have me xoxo

So Venus in Aries...

Ancestral Goblins

My Husband's

Grand Aunt Lou, Great -Grandma, Grandma Anne and Grand Uncle John

1920's Chgo

Grandma Anne's Daughter Virginia (Ginny) Michelon - My Husbands Mother 1956

Last weekend I spent a good part of Saturday and a bit of Sunday scanning in old family pictures into a website for sharing photos with your family.  As I stared at these photos of whom I knew some of the people and some I did not know - I thought - what is the back story?  

How - in the end were these people that I love - able to release themselves...   

What "family stories" kept them from reaching their full potential?  

Maybe they did reach their full potential - accomplished all they had come here to do - "earth" rules are probably much different than "universe" rules - what "we" hold near and dear could actually be a by- product of life and not the mission for which we came.

What are your "Ancestral Goblins" - have you looked at your beliefs and wondered "Why do I believe that?"  Did I get that belief from my family? my friends? society? Who is right?  

Is a good life story more important than the love you leave behind?   

Looking for a recording of this for my ringtone - but don't want to pay 10.00 a month for one paragraph - anybody know where I might find this?  xoxo

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

----from A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson.

FINDABETTERWAY.ORG

Tuesday 1/31/2012 - not sure what was going on but i felt sick - dying - releasing January - I went to bed early - like 7PM....   I realize I channel the world so it could of been something going on Tuesday night - because it hit me like a ton of bricks - I try to keep my defenses up (Protection) but when I get tired I drop my guard - I will have to check on the news - argh - the news - 3D earth is depressing - maybe I do not want to know - LOL

As a regular "facebooker" - semi-addict - and getting better - I see all the atrocities of the 3D earth - assault on animals, the earth, our food, children, women I posted the item below - shared from one of my friends - who has the shares the same views on most issues.

Mary E Squires

What r u eating?
I think I'm going to have to start a new group called
"Find a Better WAY.ORG"

Wall Photos

One of the scariest charts I've seen.

So... corporations are in with the government regarding our food?

I do not think that info is actually a big surprise -

 I am sure "regular Joe Smoe" trying to pay his mortgage and put any food on his table for his family doesn't even have time to worry about this type of information.

  But that is also part of the problem. 

 The website I suggested is open - as in no one owns it currently... 

www.FINDABETTERWAY.ORG

 But how much effort do I want to put into 3D Earth - I am not sure - I am standing on a cliff - do I jump or do I back up........

I am waiting on Neptune's inspiration -Pisces tomorrow - God is home and 

Mars to quit counting backwards - Virgo - Retrograde 

 Forward movement is stalled for this Ram/Ox at the moment....   

Release....    Release....     

Chim, chimney, chim, chimney, chim, chim, cha roo .....   bidding my time.........  

Chim Chim Cher-ee Sing Along

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VX4Ppm-cPZI

Spiritual Ascensions

Being raised in a catholic household as a child - but still believing in "magic" not really knowing what magic was but still knowing it was out there - that people were more than what they appeared to be - more than their reactions to situations - I have traveled down many dark paths to come to this understanding.  There is magic in every moment - there is love in every breath - if only we can acknowledge it's existence we will be able to open up to divine love and the 5D and higher dimensions.

I kind of took the "Evelyn Wood Speed Reading" course on spirituality.  Coming out of the gates at the age of about 40 - yeah I dabbled a bit in my teens, 20's, 30's but never really did much else till the universe brought me to my knees and said "Listen up you"
- Kind of like that dream I had "Wake the Fuck up Bitch" LOL  - I know I should really talk to myself nicer but I was sleeping - ha ha
  I studied many different types of spirituality - some more than others - I still have not found one that works the best with me - but I am becoming more evolved in my choices - There is an aspect in my birth chart that allows me to understand complicated spiritual theories - see the bigger picture so to speak - understand what someone is conveying without them actually having to say it in detail. ( My children also have this ability)  This same gift is also a curse because it makes me seem misunderstood at times.  I am not always taken in the correct context.  I forget not everyone operates on this higher level - so a lot gets lost in translation when I speak to people who are of a lower vibration - I tend to piss them off and not really realizing why or how until I go back over the conversation in my head later.... :(  It's all a learning curve - so no hard feelings on this side of the tracks :)

As stated previously - I do not believe the version of Christianity imposed upon the people - (most of the bible seems like control tactics) how would you like your worst day ever to be the symbol of 2012 years of worship - yuk - yuk - yuk.  When I say this to my mom she says its the basis of our whole religion (Jesus on the Cross) - but I ask why should it be - Jesus was so much more than that one day - father, husband, ET (?), he came to show us we are all capable of being in "Christ Consciousness"  - the temple of god lies within you and around you.....  it is you.

Most people walk around asleep - anesthetized to the world.  I think all the movers and shakers of history were actually rebels - and criminals of their times because they opposed the status quo....
We are seeing quite a bit of this in our world right now - we will probably be seeing quite a bit more as this year progresses - Bless the rebels - for they move us all forward - let's intend for them to be the forward movement we need...

 Freedom not Constriction...  Freedom not Constriction... Freedom not Constriction

Who is in your Circle?

On earth and in spirit - Who do you surround yourself with?

I converse with many on a daily basis - but recently Fox has been showing up when I close my eyes, cunning, feminine powers, magic - I will have to see where my little fox takes me..


Fox:
As animal alchemy symbols, foxes are the cultivators of the Elixir of Life. They were also thought to be able to transform themselves into human form at night and visit the elderly, giving them sips of the mystical Elixir to prolong their life and health. As a solar animal, the fox is symbol of fire and all this meaning entails. I've written another page on this website about other perspectives and symbolic information on the fox here.  
(http://www.whats-your-sign.com/animal-alchemy-symbols.html)


Flashes of past lives keep occurring - I am assuming to be cleared, to know "How it Was"  - me and Keishi sitting on a bed of course it was so long ago - Egypt  I think - People's souls, animal souls ... 
Can you recognize them from previous lives?  Can they be "Walk-In's" for just a moment to clear you of that memory so you can move on?   
Keishi now:

Keishi then:

After listening to Meg Benedicte last night (recommended for anyone wanting to clear their life up -
http://www.Blogtalkradio.com/newearthcentral/2012/01/26/new-earth-central--crystalline-infusion-to-remove-duality )

I guess I am confused on what to do next? Interestingly I look at my life and know the only way forward is to look ahead and not look back - yet it is in our past sometimes we can find the key to the future...

Divine Feminine & Forgiveness

Anyone who knows me or has read my blog posts know that I am transformed in the water of my bath - I really should have a hot tub - but then again -  I may never get out...  :)

Lying in a steaming tub of water, add a pinch of salt, some lavender oil, maybe some rose oil, red holy candles to bring in the divine feminine - add the new moon and Venus in Pisces - I can achieve a sensitive state protected by the water from the harshness of the world - truly connected to the Divine Feminine, back to the elemental realms, Gaia,  moving through the Divine feminine linage from the lady of the lake, the Magdalene's, through the ages - all connected through the water....  now I must temper this with forgiveness - because it stirs such a anger inside my soul - the treatment of women through the ages - sending pink light of love - sending trust and forgiveness.  Forgiveness, Forgiveness, the harshness of earth needs love and forgiveness - oneness....

I have had many readings over the years - I think my next one - for my next birthday will focus on how I fit into the story of the holy family...  After reading Kathleen McGowan's books - I wonder how I fit into all of this story - as I remember running through the town - barefoot, hair long and down, a white plain dress, such a feeling of peace being with Jesus and Mary - which Mary - I am not sure of - being a Mary myself I have always felt I was a "Mary" many times before.  I do not have memories of the "Crucifixion" - I have always hated Easter and was traumatized by the church as a child, to act as the "Angry Mob" during the masses - yuk - yuk - yuk ....  Forgiveness, Forgiveness, Forgiveness - but ....   do they deserve it - the church who covered up the other half of the story - because ....... ??????  Is that what evil really is?  A person driven strictly by Ego and Fear - trying to control...  the truth from getting out...  Sending Love, Love, Love  and Forgiveness, Forgiveness, Forgiveness .....  I am truly a gentle soul - when pushed to the brink I will withdraw rather than draw blood in this lifetime.... 96% of the time - there have been times when threatened I have reacted - but mostly I just let it slide - letting the rest of the world catch up to me... :)   I have always been as I am - but I have not always remembered who that is - I have been blessed with great guides along the way - both on earth and in spirit;  Always bringing me back to love -  "The Time Returns "....

Sanctuary

In reflecting on finding my way in this world; I look to how I surround myself in my everyday life.  As I sit in my room - as this is the room that most reflect "Me" - one wall is covered with original artwork by my daughter and another corner (my wealth sector of the house) is a small shrine to the ascended masters who help me on a daily basis.  As I type this, doves sit out in the trees over looking the river - huddled there always lending their peaceful presence to my life; while the small birds all gather in the bushes around my home.  This piece of land is truly magical and I am very lucky and grateful to be a part of it all.   Last week I had a Reiki session with my friend - who also did the Mandala in the top picture - she was doing some clearing and said my heart chakra was closing and my new 5D heart chakra was opening - she connected all my lower chakras with my new heart chakra up lifting my presence here and now on this planet.  As the new moon in Aquarius approaches I wonder what it will bring, I set my intentions and read my horoscopes - wondering how it will all play out.
Here's what one of my favorite upbeat astrologers says...
THEME OF THE WEEK:It’s a New Moon in Aquarius! Mercury is also active now, indicating a busy week filled with interaction. Most notably, Mars begins a rare retrograde phase in Virgo, encouraging us to consider the wisest use of power and effective personal change. It will be a great week, enjoy!

ARIES (March 21-April 19):An interaction with a friend has a life changing effect. Through the conversation, a light bulb goes off in your mind, bringing sense to a long-confusing matter. The clarity reaches into your heart and brings you peace. With new information, you take a step into the future.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):You have a knack for impressing authority figures now. You might not be comfortable with the boastful approach you’re asked to take at the start of the week, but it does lead to a career break. You are celebrating a new start with the achievement of a major goal.

(This is from her website : http://www.symbolicliving.com/weekly-astrology-horoscope-forecasts-january-22-28-2012/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+SymbolicLiving+%28Symbolic+Living%29)

As an Aries with my progressions I am currently a Taurus - I wonder what the achievement of a major goal will be?  I will keep you in the loop :)