***GROUNDHOGS - DEATH WITHOUT DYING*** LAPORTE ****

First of all I want to say :

"Dang I get it universe "

 I have seen groundhogs all over my property and in my neighborhood 

Groundhog according to "Ted Andrews" are Death without dying, trance and dreams....

OK try to keep up,

 it is a Mercury Retrograde and my thoughts keep running together - 

I have Mercury  in my 11th house of Pisces (in my birth chart)

so even though I am very smart I do not project a quick response - 

  If I said exactly what I thought most of the time without tempering it down I am sure someone would of killed me a long time ago 

(a little past life experience there - LOL)

I am very gunshy with putting myself in danger and I do temper my responses with logic and group discussion before I act unless it is something I NEED - LOL

But, last Thursday I came home from yoga - the air was still and I could hear the crickets - (Practical Magic) and I thought , "OHHHHH  death is near for someone" - even the lightning bugs were standing on trees - NOT FLYING!!!!  All night I am having chest pains and cannot breath......  I get a call from my neighbor saying she has found her husband dead - of a heart attack.   SPOOKY...... SAD.......  

So Saturday I am still not feeling well - I thought dang I'm going to have a Heart Attack if I do not release this energy.....  So I pull a card from "Colette Baron Reid's Online site"

 :  "DEATH - REBIRTH" 

 Dang no help there 

-haha- 

"Am I dying.or what universe?"

..  LOL  ...

  or being reborn 

- oh yeah -

" time to heal yourself" I thought .

...  see I said I was smart, right? 

 I went in the bedroom and laid down listening to a "Tibetan Monks Healing Chant"  (From Tom Kenyon's website" ) OK - feeling better....  

Fast forward to today.............

My son and I are driving to the funeral for my neighbor... 

 (of course it is in BFE....commonly known as North Judson) 

 We are on state road 10 - practically flying because we are running late due to trucks on a 2 lane highway and we get to a 4 way stop,

 I see the sign to turn left for Laporte

- my son is driving - 

(because my car is still wrecked from the wedding and the insurance company did not give me enough to replace my beauty) 

we start to go forward 

and I am thinking why is that guy in the truck across the street not going?

---  then I see a silver car coming at us at about 60 miles per hour 

- horn blaring - 

brakes squealing - 

my son hits the accelerator -

 I don't know how but we became like invisible 

-swoosh -

 missed us -

 whew 

- FUCKING LAPORTE INDIANA - 

So here I am back home safe and sound vowing to never go near Laporte again...  EVER....  

So is that DEATH WITHOUT DYING or what - LOL

Be careful out there it is HAZARDOUS TO YOUR health - 

Oh yeah and an owl has taken up residence - time to bring the cat in :)

  xoxo  

TILL NEXT TIME - 

xoxo  LOVE  xoxo

***Self Care****

The energy of 2012 and taking good care of yourself...

How do you take good care of yourself?

Do you take as good care of yourself as you do your children?

**** <3 You should <3 ****

Your self care routine is being highlighted right now with the Sun in Cancer, are you listening to your body and treating it with love???

I use both medical and holistic methods in treating my body.  Although I am having a hard time.  

Society is geared towards drugs, doctors, long drawn out procedures and diagnosis.

I am drawn to "lightworkers", Reiki, Massage.....  

Releasing anger/guilt/shame does more for the body than drugs in most cases.  

Yesterday I finally went to the Chiropractor - I had forgotten how hard it is to deal with 3D people.  To help them see me - a spiritual person with body pain...   The pain that drove me there was my left leg from the car accident.  He worked on my neck and shoulders..... 

My neck and shoulders felt better but my leg still hurts :(  

Today my neck hurts - 

So here I sit 

 unable to get them treatment I need

a wrecked car

losing time

smoking too much

"needing to release"

"Do I sue them so I can get the treatment needed?"  

Will they even recognize holistic methods?

#### WHEW - July energy ####

*OUTSPENT* ** UNDERPRESSURE**

I happen to like Pres Obama more than Mitt Romney - but I cannot take the constant news/emails/public outcries about Pres Obama being outspent!!!!

I guess only poor people like Pres Obama - cause he can't raise enough money to win the election :(

I can do nothing about this because I have no money either :(

So elections are all about money - ha - and not about who can do the best job?

During this "Cancer season"  (the sun in cancer) we are focusing on self care.  Well I am taking care of myself, my body still hurts from the car accident.  By 9PM every night I cannot walk - sit - my only relief is xanax and bed...

I must take care of myself before I can take care of anyone else...  easier said than done but I am willing to make the effort.

xoxo  AMEN xoxo

FB and Social Comment

Since when is news so heartless? 

 I mean "News @ 9, 10,  5" whenever - news shows 

 I am afraid I would miss the end of the world because I cannot watch the news.

My hubby watches "Jeopardy" and on days I am "gaga-ing" the news comes on next.  I find it very distasteful and mean when the news picks up on stories that point the finger at some one who is really not able to defend themselves - such as the "tanning mom"  ...

Why should she be national news?  So everyone can feel smug and say "look at her - shame on her "  Disgusting - Look at yourself and say ..... 

 "What have I done to make the world better? "

It is very easy to get caught up in the "world's views" that are dictated to us from the media - beauty, conform, don't be like that person, be like us.....  the list goes on....

Look within for the answers

xoxo  Blessings  xoxo

### CONFUSION PTSD ####

Venus turns direct today - yayyyyyyyyy - but of course like everything else we won't feel it for a bit longer......  Saturn the taskmaster turned direct on Monday - but that we still can't feel...

Feel like you are in LIMBO?  Well I do.......

Although I am usually full of comforting words for friends and family, I cannot find those words for myself today......

All I can think of is what I have lost :( 

My rational brain says it's only a car - but it also says you will never have a car like that again.

When I think about the accident, I cannot remember the impact - I remember seeing the car coming fast in my rearview mirror - but then it's like I left my body and came back into it when my husband yelled - she's trying to leave..... another hit and run – nooooo…. 

My neck felt funny and I was dazed - but I had the babies in the car, I was on the way to my Son's Wedding Rehearsal - the last thing I had time for was being hurt.  I had a massage last week because I could not walk on my feet...  My wonderful massage therapist said it was like I absorbed the accident into my hip, legs, feet and hands - the word neuropathy came up - the words ego came up, the image of "Fred Flintstone” came to mind........  How can I be hurt?  I have no patience for a lengthy healing....  Go to the doctor - no - not me - I don't want any drugs - one Tylenol is all my gut can handle..... Months of P/T, who’s going to pay for that????? 

So the waiting has been awful.....  My car was totaled....  My ego was totaled - I know it's sounds pathetic - do you really have to go through the 5 stages of grief over a car???

Well, I guess I do....  and it's not really that much easier on my body...... 

This is an ascension year for many of us....  yeah - maybe that's it....  maybe I am not really hurt, it would take the doctors probably minimum of 6 months to figure out what is wrong and many tests....  can I heal myself energetically????

This is what happens to me when I have too much time to focus on me.....  I realize I am not indestructible, I drive my body hard, and I have a hard time asking for and accepting help. 

Oh yeah, my shoulder, my feet, my knee...  I am sure that it all means something in "Louise Hays - You Can Heal Your Life" book...  I am angry, I am guilty, but today no judgments....  My brain is screaming - I do not want to go through any of this....  I know many people have it worse....  Being an empath, I know how hard “they” have it and I am used to feeling” their” pain - but I am not used to feeling my own – HA- and therein lies the rub.......

2012 is a hard one for this "Starseed"!!!!

What happens if I just let it all go?

Something better comes along I am told - is it really true?

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Deep Man -

my tarot card I got through my email from "www.Astrology.com"

"The Lovers card affirms my alter ego is a port key to aSoul Mate or deal, whose superpower is compatibility in the midst of reconciling dichotomy to interconnect as a whole new entity or 'color.' To be or not to be: at ultimatum or rival tensions mounting, negotiating acceptable trade-offs validates our unique perspectives to reflect what each lacks for a balanced voice of truce. When we're together I'm beside myself, so I concede mutual vested interest, incentive or opportunity to my other half for valued consideration. For only by the power of self-respect in reciprocal vulnerability, need and compassion do 'me and thee consummate we.' The rest is all a dance on the sidelines of Cinderella Pandering or prohibition, or around a Bermuda Triangle of bottom line temptation to cheat by provocation, promiscuity, or shame. But here at the gate of impasse, I still have a choice and my pride."

Today my ego feels like a "hippy chic" - because when  read the explanation of this card I thought "That's deep Man"                                     xoxo  Happy Summer Equinox  xoxo

"remember clothing is entirely optional"

Things I learned this week 6/18/2012

Standing in a vortex

Always be truthful

If it's shiny and bright don't put it in your mouth,
( there is probably lead in it )

Antique stores are sad places full of things that people spent a lifetime collecting :(