*OUTSPENT* ** UNDERPRESSURE**

I happen to like Pres Obama more than Mitt Romney - but I cannot take the constant news/emails/public outcries about Pres Obama being outspent!!!!

I guess only poor people like Pres Obama - cause he can't raise enough money to win the election :(

I can do nothing about this because I have no money either :(

So elections are all about money - ha - and not about who can do the best job?

During this "Cancer season"  (the sun in cancer) we are focusing on self care.  Well I am taking care of myself, my body still hurts from the car accident.  By 9PM every night I cannot walk - sit - my only relief is xanax and bed...

I must take care of myself before I can take care of anyone else...  easier said than done but I am willing to make the effort.

xoxo  AMEN xoxo

FB and Social Comment

Since when is news so heartless? 

 I mean "News @ 9, 10,  5" whenever - news shows 

 I am afraid I would miss the end of the world because I cannot watch the news.

My hubby watches "Jeopardy" and on days I am "gaga-ing" the news comes on next.  I find it very distasteful and mean when the news picks up on stories that point the finger at some one who is really not able to defend themselves - such as the "tanning mom"  ...

Why should she be national news?  So everyone can feel smug and say "look at her - shame on her "  Disgusting - Look at yourself and say ..... 

 "What have I done to make the world better? "

It is very easy to get caught up in the "world's views" that are dictated to us from the media - beauty, conform, don't be like that person, be like us.....  the list goes on....

Look within for the answers

xoxo  Blessings  xoxo

### CONFUSION PTSD ####

Venus turns direct today - yayyyyyyyyy - but of course like everything else we won't feel it for a bit longer......  Saturn the taskmaster turned direct on Monday - but that we still can't feel...

Feel like you are in LIMBO?  Well I do.......

Although I am usually full of comforting words for friends and family, I cannot find those words for myself today......

All I can think of is what I have lost :( 

My rational brain says it's only a car - but it also says you will never have a car like that again.

When I think about the accident, I cannot remember the impact - I remember seeing the car coming fast in my rearview mirror - but then it's like I left my body and came back into it when my husband yelled - she's trying to leave..... another hit and run – nooooo…. 

My neck felt funny and I was dazed - but I had the babies in the car, I was on the way to my Son's Wedding Rehearsal - the last thing I had time for was being hurt.  I had a massage last week because I could not walk on my feet...  My wonderful massage therapist said it was like I absorbed the accident into my hip, legs, feet and hands - the word neuropathy came up - the words ego came up, the image of "Fred Flintstone” came to mind........  How can I be hurt?  I have no patience for a lengthy healing....  Go to the doctor - no - not me - I don't want any drugs - one Tylenol is all my gut can handle..... Months of P/T, who’s going to pay for that????? 

So the waiting has been awful.....  My car was totaled....  My ego was totaled - I know it's sounds pathetic - do you really have to go through the 5 stages of grief over a car???

Well, I guess I do....  and it's not really that much easier on my body...... 

This is an ascension year for many of us....  yeah - maybe that's it....  maybe I am not really hurt, it would take the doctors probably minimum of 6 months to figure out what is wrong and many tests....  can I heal myself energetically????

This is what happens to me when I have too much time to focus on me.....  I realize I am not indestructible, I drive my body hard, and I have a hard time asking for and accepting help. 

Oh yeah, my shoulder, my feet, my knee...  I am sure that it all means something in "Louise Hays - You Can Heal Your Life" book...  I am angry, I am guilty, but today no judgments....  My brain is screaming - I do not want to go through any of this....  I know many people have it worse....  Being an empath, I know how hard “they” have it and I am used to feeling” their” pain - but I am not used to feeling my own – HA- and therein lies the rub.......

2012 is a hard one for this "Starseed"!!!!

What happens if I just let it all go?

Something better comes along I am told - is it really true?

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Deep Man -

my tarot card I got through my email from "www.Astrology.com"

"The Lovers card affirms my alter ego is a port key to aSoul Mate or deal, whose superpower is compatibility in the midst of reconciling dichotomy to interconnect as a whole new entity or 'color.' To be or not to be: at ultimatum or rival tensions mounting, negotiating acceptable trade-offs validates our unique perspectives to reflect what each lacks for a balanced voice of truce. When we're together I'm beside myself, so I concede mutual vested interest, incentive or opportunity to my other half for valued consideration. For only by the power of self-respect in reciprocal vulnerability, need and compassion do 'me and thee consummate we.' The rest is all a dance on the sidelines of Cinderella Pandering or prohibition, or around a Bermuda Triangle of bottom line temptation to cheat by provocation, promiscuity, or shame. But here at the gate of impasse, I still have a choice and my pride."

Today my ego feels like a "hippy chic" - because when  read the explanation of this card I thought "That's deep Man"                                     xoxo  Happy Summer Equinox  xoxo

"remember clothing is entirely optional"

Things I learned this week 6/18/2012

Standing in a vortex

Always be truthful

If it's shiny and bright don't put it in your mouth,
( there is probably lead in it )

Antique stores are sad places full of things that people spent a lifetime collecting :(

***** TOTALLED *****

Well I was feeling rather optimistic about my car until today.

  I found out the insurance is totally my 2004 Monte Carlo SS "Dale Earnhardt special edition number 1471 of 4000 :(

You know I am not even a racing fan (of NASCAR) this car is just so damn pretty I could not resist getting it.

Messengers come in all sizes - I have had this nagging feeling that I was trying to ignore in the back of my head since the accident.  My messenger was a 17 yr old not paying attention - I cannot be mad at her - but I also do not have to settle for less than my car is worth.  

I have been thinking - maybe I am not suppose to have this car - but I love my car so much. 

 So is it my ego?

  My inability to change? 

 Should I drive a battery operated car for the environment? 

 huhhhhh - it is a lot to think about.  

 I was not ready to give up my car... 

 My other half says its not "practical" - I should have a 4 door car...  All I can hear at this point is blah, blah, blah -

 Unfortunately I did not think this was going to be that big of a deal - when things fall apart - I prop up all the pieces and continue on - maybe a little banged up but I persevere...  

I cannot fix this :( 

 Do I surrender it?

 - how do you live your life without any control over anything.

  I am pretty easy going - yes I am high maintenance when it comes to "me" but otherwise I let "you" do whatever you need to do....  

Do I fight?  

Hire an attorney?  

When is surrender the right answer?

So as of this Thursday or Friday I am car-less - sad and waiting for an answer  .....  :(

Sometimes I think this world is just too harsh...  

Is this my "Jagged Little Pill"...

I know it could be worse, but somehow that doesn't make me feel better right now.

Faith

As a 12th house Sun it is hard for me to talk about the great faith I have.
 What perils I have encountered here on Earth School - what lessons I have learned.

I feel a great kinship to the "Holy Family" - I am feeling the divine feminine resurgence...

I always look for symbols in my everyday life that spirit is talking to me.

This is what I got from my kids for "Mother's Day"

The symbol for Mary Magdalene, the blessed family, the perfect "Mother's Day" gift.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo


Grateful for my family....


 - Open to further communication -