***Self Care****

The energy of 2012 and taking good care of yourself...

How do you take good care of yourself?

Do you take as good care of yourself as you do your children?

**** <3 You should <3 ****

Your self care routine is being highlighted right now with the Sun in Cancer, are you listening to your body and treating it with love???

I use both medical and holistic methods in treating my body.  Although I am having a hard time.  

Society is geared towards drugs, doctors, long drawn out procedures and diagnosis.

I am drawn to "lightworkers", Reiki, Massage.....  

Releasing anger/guilt/shame does more for the body than drugs in most cases.  

Yesterday I finally went to the Chiropractor - I had forgotten how hard it is to deal with 3D people.  To help them see me - a spiritual person with body pain...   The pain that drove me there was my left leg from the car accident.  He worked on my neck and shoulders..... 

My neck and shoulders felt better but my leg still hurts :(  

Today my neck hurts - 

So here I sit 

 unable to get them treatment I need

a wrecked car

losing time

smoking too much

"needing to release"

"Do I sue them so I can get the treatment needed?"  

Will they even recognize holistic methods?

#### WHEW - July energy ####

*OUTSPENT* ** UNDERPRESSURE**

I happen to like Pres Obama more than Mitt Romney - but I cannot take the constant news/emails/public outcries about Pres Obama being outspent!!!!

I guess only poor people like Pres Obama - cause he can't raise enough money to win the election :(

I can do nothing about this because I have no money either :(

So elections are all about money - ha - and not about who can do the best job?

During this "Cancer season"  (the sun in cancer) we are focusing on self care.  Well I am taking care of myself, my body still hurts from the car accident.  By 9PM every night I cannot walk - sit - my only relief is xanax and bed...

I must take care of myself before I can take care of anyone else...  easier said than done but I am willing to make the effort.

xoxo  AMEN xoxo

FB and Social Comment

Since when is news so heartless? 

 I mean "News @ 9, 10,  5" whenever - news shows 

 I am afraid I would miss the end of the world because I cannot watch the news.

My hubby watches "Jeopardy" and on days I am "gaga-ing" the news comes on next.  I find it very distasteful and mean when the news picks up on stories that point the finger at some one who is really not able to defend themselves - such as the "tanning mom"  ...

Why should she be national news?  So everyone can feel smug and say "look at her - shame on her "  Disgusting - Look at yourself and say ..... 

 "What have I done to make the world better? "

It is very easy to get caught up in the "world's views" that are dictated to us from the media - beauty, conform, don't be like that person, be like us.....  the list goes on....

Look within for the answers

xoxo  Blessings  xoxo

### CONFUSION PTSD ####

Venus turns direct today - yayyyyyyyyy - but of course like everything else we won't feel it for a bit longer......  Saturn the taskmaster turned direct on Monday - but that we still can't feel...

Feel like you are in LIMBO?  Well I do.......

Although I am usually full of comforting words for friends and family, I cannot find those words for myself today......

All I can think of is what I have lost :( 

My rational brain says it's only a car - but it also says you will never have a car like that again.

When I think about the accident, I cannot remember the impact - I remember seeing the car coming fast in my rearview mirror - but then it's like I left my body and came back into it when my husband yelled - she's trying to leave..... another hit and run – nooooo…. 

My neck felt funny and I was dazed - but I had the babies in the car, I was on the way to my Son's Wedding Rehearsal - the last thing I had time for was being hurt.  I had a massage last week because I could not walk on my feet...  My wonderful massage therapist said it was like I absorbed the accident into my hip, legs, feet and hands - the word neuropathy came up - the words ego came up, the image of "Fred Flintstone” came to mind........  How can I be hurt?  I have no patience for a lengthy healing....  Go to the doctor - no - not me - I don't want any drugs - one Tylenol is all my gut can handle..... Months of P/T, who’s going to pay for that????? 

So the waiting has been awful.....  My car was totaled....  My ego was totaled - I know it's sounds pathetic - do you really have to go through the 5 stages of grief over a car???

Well, I guess I do....  and it's not really that much easier on my body...... 

This is an ascension year for many of us....  yeah - maybe that's it....  maybe I am not really hurt, it would take the doctors probably minimum of 6 months to figure out what is wrong and many tests....  can I heal myself energetically????

This is what happens to me when I have too much time to focus on me.....  I realize I am not indestructible, I drive my body hard, and I have a hard time asking for and accepting help. 

Oh yeah, my shoulder, my feet, my knee...  I am sure that it all means something in "Louise Hays - You Can Heal Your Life" book...  I am angry, I am guilty, but today no judgments....  My brain is screaming - I do not want to go through any of this....  I know many people have it worse....  Being an empath, I know how hard “they” have it and I am used to feeling” their” pain - but I am not used to feeling my own – HA- and therein lies the rub.......

2012 is a hard one for this "Starseed"!!!!

What happens if I just let it all go?

Something better comes along I am told - is it really true?

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Deep Man -

my tarot card I got through my email from "www.Astrology.com"

"The Lovers card affirms my alter ego is a port key to aSoul Mate or deal, whose superpower is compatibility in the midst of reconciling dichotomy to interconnect as a whole new entity or 'color.' To be or not to be: at ultimatum or rival tensions mounting, negotiating acceptable trade-offs validates our unique perspectives to reflect what each lacks for a balanced voice of truce. When we're together I'm beside myself, so I concede mutual vested interest, incentive or opportunity to my other half for valued consideration. For only by the power of self-respect in reciprocal vulnerability, need and compassion do 'me and thee consummate we.' The rest is all a dance on the sidelines of Cinderella Pandering or prohibition, or around a Bermuda Triangle of bottom line temptation to cheat by provocation, promiscuity, or shame. But here at the gate of impasse, I still have a choice and my pride."

Today my ego feels like a "hippy chic" - because when  read the explanation of this card I thought "That's deep Man"                                     xoxo  Happy Summer Equinox  xoxo

"remember clothing is entirely optional"

Things I learned this week 6/18/2012

Standing in a vortex

Always be truthful

If it's shiny and bright don't put it in your mouth,
( there is probably lead in it )

Antique stores are sad places full of things that people spent a lifetime collecting :(

***** TOTALLED *****

Well I was feeling rather optimistic about my car until today.

  I found out the insurance is totally my 2004 Monte Carlo SS "Dale Earnhardt special edition number 1471 of 4000 :(

You know I am not even a racing fan (of NASCAR) this car is just so damn pretty I could not resist getting it.

Messengers come in all sizes - I have had this nagging feeling that I was trying to ignore in the back of my head since the accident.  My messenger was a 17 yr old not paying attention - I cannot be mad at her - but I also do not have to settle for less than my car is worth.  

I have been thinking - maybe I am not suppose to have this car - but I love my car so much. 

 So is it my ego?

  My inability to change? 

 Should I drive a battery operated car for the environment? 

 huhhhhh - it is a lot to think about.  

 I was not ready to give up my car... 

 My other half says its not "practical" - I should have a 4 door car...  All I can hear at this point is blah, blah, blah -

 Unfortunately I did not think this was going to be that big of a deal - when things fall apart - I prop up all the pieces and continue on - maybe a little banged up but I persevere...  

I cannot fix this :( 

 Do I surrender it?

 - how do you live your life without any control over anything.

  I am pretty easy going - yes I am high maintenance when it comes to "me" but otherwise I let "you" do whatever you need to do....  

Do I fight?  

Hire an attorney?  

When is surrender the right answer?

So as of this Thursday or Friday I am car-less - sad and waiting for an answer  .....  :(

Sometimes I think this world is just too harsh...  

Is this my "Jagged Little Pill"...

I know it could be worse, but somehow that doesn't make me feel better right now.