***** TOTALLED *****

Well I was feeling rather optimistic about my car until today.

  I found out the insurance is totally my 2004 Monte Carlo SS "Dale Earnhardt special edition number 1471 of 4000 :(

You know I am not even a racing fan (of NASCAR) this car is just so damn pretty I could not resist getting it.

Messengers come in all sizes - I have had this nagging feeling that I was trying to ignore in the back of my head since the accident.  My messenger was a 17 yr old not paying attention - I cannot be mad at her - but I also do not have to settle for less than my car is worth.  

I have been thinking - maybe I am not suppose to have this car - but I love my car so much. 

 So is it my ego?

  My inability to change? 

 Should I drive a battery operated car for the environment? 

 huhhhhh - it is a lot to think about.  

 I was not ready to give up my car... 

 My other half says its not "practical" - I should have a 4 door car...  All I can hear at this point is blah, blah, blah -

 Unfortunately I did not think this was going to be that big of a deal - when things fall apart - I prop up all the pieces and continue on - maybe a little banged up but I persevere...  

I cannot fix this :( 

 Do I surrender it?

 - how do you live your life without any control over anything.

  I am pretty easy going - yes I am high maintenance when it comes to "me" but otherwise I let "you" do whatever you need to do....  

Do I fight?  

Hire an attorney?  

When is surrender the right answer?

So as of this Thursday or Friday I am car-less - sad and waiting for an answer  .....  :(

Sometimes I think this world is just too harsh...  

Is this my "Jagged Little Pill"...

I know it could be worse, but somehow that doesn't make me feel better right now.

Faith

As a 12th house Sun it is hard for me to talk about the great faith I have.
 What perils I have encountered here on Earth School - what lessons I have learned.

I feel a great kinship to the "Holy Family" - I am feeling the divine feminine resurgence...

I always look for symbols in my everyday life that spirit is talking to me.

This is what I got from my kids for "Mother's Day"

The symbol for Mary Magdalene, the blessed family, the perfect "Mother's Day" gift.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo


Grateful for my family....


 - Open to further communication - 

Pre Solar Eclipse 5/20/12

I had a great vision the other day - during one of my 5 minute meditations - I closed my eyes and saw a ring of stars - I smiled - mother - Queen of Heaven - Mary is with me - at that point I saw her face - then I felt a wave of love wash over me.....  I realized all I had done in my life was for learning, I forgave myself for mistakes, I forgave those I love for mistakes, I prayed for the earth, my small part in it's story, my house, town, community, the USA, the president, the water, the animals, the rocks, the universe - Love...

Peace within the family - understanding

Per MoonPluto Astrology:

"This Eclipse is about the 411 (information – Gemini) and about being busy (Virgo) finding your truth (Sagittarius, sign of prophecy), using your intuition (Pisces) to make sense of the life in the houses where this Eclipse energy is happening."

For me the eclipse is:

(also compliments of MoonPluto Astrology)

" the eclipse is actually t-square  (or a grand cross if we include the transiting Nodes of fate as well): squaring your Chiron-Mercury (as well as squaring transiting Chiron-Neptune). What is the dream? There is a dream here that is waiting, that has been waiting. I think it's... something in particular actually that's on your mind " 

and 

The Eclipse is squaring your North Node and Pluto so the question becomes what do you need to change so that you can move further along your path, your destiny, and since we are dealing with the 5th House here, it's about 1. love and it's about 2. your unique self-expression/art/creativity. Also your dreams and goals and what remains unmanifested in your life at this time. I feel like there is much to accomplish. 

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Whew, that's a lot to process.....

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How's it gonna be for you ?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Are you looking forward to the Venus Transit 6/5/12 ?


* ^j^ * ^j^ * ^j^ * ^j^ * 


* To check out MoonPluto's Blog:  http://moonplutoastrology.com *

Are You Open To Receive?

Yesterday I was listening to a lesson on the human ego....  Actually my last blog was about the human  ego ....   The shadow side of ego.....  

Today I want to talk about accepting help without judgement against yourself or anyone else.  When people say "pray for me", "sending Light and Love", "please send healing" etc....

As a Reiki practitioner - I can attest to the power of energy healing and bodywork.  Prayers and intentions are just like sending light and love to a person.  Your soul can receive these prayers, intentions, light, love, healing and filter them down to you - but are you able to accept them?

Can you overcome your ego driven mind?  Your ego wants to control everything and everyone so you stay protected in your pain.  You must learn to release your pain - love it - forgive it - and then be open to receive the full benefits of all intentions for love and healing sent your way...

Every morning when I wake up  - I say good morning to all my guides, my animals, my soul and accept all prayers/healing sent from the light on my behalf.  I do this without fear because I know only the light can come to me through my soul.

I am open to receive, I am open to receive, I am open to receive


See how much better you will feel when you open yourself up to your highest outcome :)


^j^ ****xoxoxoxoxoxoxox**** ^j^

What's Your Damage?

I do not usually quote Osho but this is on track for this posting....

"An explosive temper or a smoldering rage often masks a deep feeling of pain. We think that if we frighten people away, we can avoid being hurt even more. In fact, just the opposite is the case. By covering our wounds with armor we are preventing them from being healed. By lashing out at others we keep ourselves from getting the love and nourishment we need. It's time to stop fighting. There is so much love available to you if you just let it in. Start by forgiving yourself: you're worth it." ~ ♥ ~ Osho

We all have wounds that affect our perspective.  Either you deal with your wounds or your outside world becomes skewed and you become "crazy", "addicted", "self-loathing" - need I go on....  

*You are Damaged*

*We are all Damaged*

*Don't be afraid - you can heal *

Who were your role models?  Were they responsible?  Were they irresponsible?  Did they hurt you?  Your feelings?  Humans and feelings - another sense for us - but we can't put glasses on our feelings or an aid to help them feel better.  The human feeling system is the most undereducated system in our body...  It is fed by chemicals in our brain..  We become accustom to our "bad" feelings - but that is not the purpose of feelings.  Feelings are just that - if you let them filter through you and not hold on to each one that hurts you can recover from wounding.  You are not your feelings....  But you become your feelings if you do not let them out, love them, heal them. 

So what's your DAMAGE - did your mommy hurt your feelings?  Did your mommy or daddy not love you enough - Are you ready to GROW UP and quit letting everyone trigger you?  Are you ready to quit throwing temper tantrums?  

A good book for me was - Managing your Emotions- by Joyce Meyers, being raised a Catholic - I understood her concepts and now I may have taken a different spiritual path. I think she is still a viable option for the lost souls that walk this earth.

Amen sister - 

***Now Go fix your Damage... *** 

correctly of course - always in a non-violent manner - you must send it love - you must love the lessons, the people, the circumstances and let them go - you are no longer a doormat for the emotionally unstable - you are free to live your life - you deserve happiness xoxo...

Helpful? Muse? Annoying?

• • I am on FB a lot during the week Monday - Friday - mostly because I am a "GaGa" for 10 hours a day and sometimes I need to take a little "GaGa" moment and read what other adults are doing :)  I have recently gotten a few messages about my FB activity - so I am assuming I am spreading some love on FB xoxo - Maybe I should start an advice column on FB - of course I am always happy to share what I have learned in my journey or hook you up with someone who specializes in your dilemma....  

    It seems quite a few people need some "sunshine" in their lives...  ie.. "LOVE"....
    My formula for creating a loving atmosphere -
    
    1/ Chakra clearing music played at least once a day. 
    (A few of my favorites include Anodea Judith, Colette Baron Reid and Jonathon Goldman)
    
    2/ Get into your body at least once a day for at least 15 minutes a day - stretching, walking, spinning, running are all good or find your own.
    

    (I read that spinning counterclockwise - stare at your thumbs to keep from getting dizzy- will raise your vibration and help with your ascension process - 

    to ascend from the darkness of negativity into the light of 5D and beyond - )
    

    Bringers of the Dawn: Teachings from the Pleiadians by Barbara Marciniak 

    
    

    
    

    3/ Reading and surrounding yourself with uplifting material and people.  
    WEBSITES:
    - www.hayhouseradio.com
    www.soulsjourneyradio.com
    www.12listen.com
    http://www.Blogtalkradio.com/newearthcentral
    http://www.Blogtalkradio.com/starseed-radio-academy
    http://www.powerwithin.us 
    http://www.lifepathcenter.net
    http://ryogacenter.com
    http://soulgarden.me
    
    
    BOOKS/AUTHORS:
    Barbara Hand Clow
    Barbara Marciniak
    Doreen Virtue
    Cheryl Richardson
    Kathleen McGowan
    James Redfield
    Dan Millman
    Colette Baron Reid
    Mary Sparrowdancer
    
    
    of course these are just a few - you have to find some "hosts" that resonate with you and go from there - if you look for a teacher one will appear...
    I am Druidistic in my search for enlightenment - I take from all Buddha, Wicca, Hindu, Christians, outer-space -   astrology, numerology, Yoga... 
    
    4/ Taking long relaxing salt/oil baths with candles and meditation music.  
    This one is pretty self explanatory...  I use drops of lavender oil made by my friend at the "Lifepath Center" and the number of drops I use is the intention of my clearing...  Check out some numerology books - everything has meaning...  Don't get overwhelmed - most information you learn in this lifetime you have known before - so it comes back to you easily...
    
    5/ But most of all daily meditation - surrender to what is, envision how you want to feel and hand it over to be taken care of by God/Universe/Angels...
    
     ^j^ Prayer/Intention/Spells are all the same if done with love for the betterment of all ^j^

    
    
    

    So for now I leave you with a few FB comments/answers - I must be doing something right...  spreading the love - for all to feel... or just annoying my family a friends - LOL

    
    Some recent comments and replies:
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    • Hi Mary -  I'm one of your facebook friends. You found me, I don't know how, but ok...LOL. Mary can you help me, I'm sorry but I don't have any money. But for the past six years I've been living a stressful life, and I realize it's all in my head. I just need a little help with guidance. I want to change my life and I can't seem to find my footing. I don't want to go back to something that's going to put me in the same situation again. I'm really desperate right now and I'm asking for help to whom ever will listen. If you can help "great" if not that's fine also...it's still good to have you as a positive friend xoxox.
  • 
    

    
    
    

    • I think everyone is feeling like you are right now - 2012 is a year of tremendous change - whether it's internal or external - most days I rely on my angels, guides, Jesus and Both Mary's to get me through. Time has sped up and continues until time spins out and is no more - I realize in this world of greed and materialism it is so hard to "BE" and not be in our head, fears, and worry - I will blog about this today or tomorrow - I have 4 babies today (4, 4, 3, 6 months) so I may not get a change to do a thoughtful blog - but prayer/meditation/ exercise (I do yoga - but I am by no means good at it  To change your life you must first change your thoughts (www.tut.com) , find a teacher - or ask for one and one will appear - and if I am that teacher (LOL) See you actually answered my prayer last night as I asked Jesus if I was just being silly - thinking and believing everything would be ok - funny how that works  You are my answered prayer 
      Fill your heart with love - find one thing you love unconditionally and FEEL it for 11 seconds (intention) - (22 seconds is better- it is a master builder number) or if you align yourself with the Mary's 13 seconds) but really it is just that you do it  try to do it 3x a day or more - build on love and you cannot go wrong, no matter how much your world falls apart - be safe, build on LOVE....
      Background info - not sure if you read my blog :
      http://mysecondlife-mes.blogspot.com/
      and my old blog which gives you a little bit of my background -http://myjupiteryear.blogspot.com/
      
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    • "Another FB Friend says....

      • hi Mary reading your post today oh my goodness you have made me feel so much better with your words I've felt trapped for 4 days i now feel cleansed thank you my friend x "

        
        

Never Can Say Good-Bye

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCSvNZWpXaM


Is this our biggest asset or our curse?


Letting go - is one of the hardest things for many people...  I admit I also have a hard time with this - maybe not possessions - but people - yes def-definitely....

Do you have a hard time with this?

Can you say "Good-bye" ?